While I sip a coffee at my portico, looking at the trees standing tall afar off and the mountains beyond, telling me “you are not were you always were”. Such a thought makes my heart pound a little faster, uncertain of weather its joy or fear.
I always dreamt of being independednt, but could never define or had enough time to plan my independent life. Being here felt like a Starfish, swept with the tide to the sea shores. May be the starfish someday wished how being taken on the seashore would feel like, but never knew when. A plethora of thoughts rushing in and out of my mind,ambivalent of which direction the thoughts should be directed to. My mind and heart yearned to do what i wanted to, that is live in the awe of the moment. Bask in the glory of feeling uncuffed. Something held me back, did the mind prompt “its not time yet”. My heart pounds little faster and this time its fear. The fear of the thought that “am i still not independent?”
I realized for me feeling independent was, to feel joyful at the place i was, to embrace the beauty in life, where thoughts did not scare and being able to sigh happily at the thought that “Am Independent”